Declan’s Star Wars obsession, and the inadequacy of using one’s finger as a blaster gun

Declan — I hope that ten years from now when your girlfriend posts the photo below on her facebook page — the one of you wearing your Star Wars underwear over your blue jeans while wielding an official Jedi Light Saber and Republic Y-Wing Fighter space ship, proudly showing off your new Millenium Falcon T-shirt — that you will forgive me for sharing it with the world.

But honestly, I am as fascinated by your Star Wars obsession as you are by Star Wars. You aren’t particularly interested in the movies themselves — other than the original — because the others, you and I agree, are too scary. But you are “obsessed,” as you say to strangers, after which you tell them what obsessed means, with the star wars franchise — with your books about the heroes, the villains, the space ships, the weapons, the droids, and so on. You are interested in pretty much everything except the romance. You pronounced today with great certainty, “no one kisses in Star Wars” and “maybe that’s why boys like it more than girls, since girls like kissing.” It is a scary world out there full of Sith Lords, Empire spy bots, and kissing girls.

I see this  Star Wars fixation, perhaps optimistically, as part of a continuum of your interest in systems — first it was construction sites, then the sewage system, then airports, then the solar system, and now Star Wars, with it’s various narrative threads, laws (good guys have blue light sabers / bad guys red; thou shalt not kiss), and equipment.

In the last few days, you have been complaining about the inadequacy of your equipment  — your Captain Rex helmet (cheap face mask, really) is inadequate because your hair shows in the back which “doesn’t look real.” You also told us, this morning, that you were “tired of using your finger as a blaster gun.” Talk about unrealistic. Your mom and I did our best to keep a straight face, and asked you to repeat the statement on video. You rolled your eyes and delivered the following impression of an annoyed five year old in the video below. I transcribe the text below because the audio is faint:

Daddy — That’s the Elite Commander Blaster gun, and Declan what are you using for a gun right now?

Declan — My finger (in a tone of exasperation because he has just been asked to repeat himself)

Daddy — How do you use you finger?

Declan — (briskly extends finger and shows how he uses it as a gun)

Daddy — do you make a noise when you shoot with it?

Declan — (shakes head)

Mommy — And you are saying that people don’t think it’s real when you shoot with it?

Declan — Yeh, and you know what? There are not bullets coming out of my finger. It’s pretend. So I need this one. This one comes with bullets.

Mommy — And how do you shoot with your finger?

Declan — I do it like that, sideways.

Daddy — You know mommy and daddy think that guns that look like real guns are a little bit scary.

Declan — This is not a real gun.

Daddy — No, it’s just pretend.

2 thoughts on “Declan’s Star Wars obsession, and the inadequacy of using one’s finger as a blaster gun

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